"We love you, Danny, YOU—whether you’re ghost, boy, or something in-between."

SUMMARY: The three gems are placed in the three locations the three were suppose to go on their vacations. ...Three. Danny starts off the trip with Cape Canaveral. Why? He’s the leader, he gets to pick his place first and if any of you protesters have a problem, then get a fistful of Ecto. The space station is quietly giving out a tour when a fat kid touches the gem conveniently placed next to him, thinking it’s a moon rock. Yes, because moon rocks are red. Go back to summer school. The gem gets all mystical, scaring the kid, causing him to drop it, landind on the very tip of the space shuttle's nose, making it a death space shuttle of doom. Danny goes ghost and tries his damnest to get the gem ("I always wanted to ride on a space shuttle, just NOT ON THE OUTSIDE!") while Sam eggs him on from the Fenton Jet’s intercom. Sam, he KNOWS he has to get the gem. He just crash-landed from the space shuttle’s aggression. What the hell was the point of adding in this line?! How much more help can she really give? She’s enough of a Canon Sue by this point; don’t rub it in, please. Danny gets the gem (which magically transferred inside the cockpit), but the shuttle turns normal, meaning in mid-air, it’s gonna crash. With knowledge from a space simulation at his side, Danny safely lands it—"The Eagle has landed, IN-TACT!" As I foreshadowed earlier, this is problematic. Danny can’t—for the life of me—pilot a jet plane, but when it comes to space shuttles, he’s a master?! I’m no expert, but as far as I’m concerned, YOU NEED PILOTING SKILLS TO PILOT A SPACE SHUTTLE. Wouldn’t it be LOGICAL for Danny to be able to commandeer a jet plane!? They don’t even fix this problem until the series finale! The writers are really undermining Danny’s talents. Much as you shouldn’t fuck with Tucker’s skills when they made accidentally made him speak throuh an overall microphone during Ember’s concert, you don’t mess with Danny’s.

The Guys in White arrive after and blows the shit out of the Fenton Jet. Sam and Tucker quickly escape via...umm....mini Fenton cars? The kind that fez wearing old people drive. Danny phases them away, but the Guys in White reveals they have "sensors everywhere". Then what was the point of adding a tracking device earlier? Scene switches to cops waiting to...arrest Danny? Wha—didn’t "Reign Storm" established that he’s a GOOD guy. Geez, them Guys in White must be smooth talkers. Danny places the first gem inside the Fenton Thermos, and then turns the fez cars into fez hovercrafts for faster travel. The trio take the time to relax and chow down at a local diner, Sam again egging on—this time at Tucker—on their unreliable exposure. Indeed, the moment the news flashes over Danny’s identity, eyewitnesses start calling. Danny zaps the cell phones, and then bolts. Just as a reminder to all the dumb audiences, the bats are still on the three.

Meanwhile, the Manson and Foley men are quick to blame Jack, each family in their own locked cages and thankfully, with smaller width in-between bars. Jack and Maddie review in their shock of Danny-is-a-ghost, but can’t comprehend why he would keep it a secret from them. Jazz elaborates: "Hey, Maddie, let’s destroy the ghost! No Jack, let’s dissect the ghost. I know, let’s catch the ghost and rip it apart molecule by molecule—you guys are so understanding." That third line is becoming quite the catchphrase. But in their defense Jazz, they didn’t KNOW. Freakshow pops in and threatens then, but wily Jazz calls him on, citing his his lack of powers, his dominance over ghosts, and tantrum, concluding he has ghost envy. He denies it, of course. Then he yells at Lydia because she phases through instead of using the door like a person. But she’s not a person, dimwit. She’s a ghost person, asshat. Get your facts straight, jerkhole.

Next stop, Gothapalooza. What was once Sam’s haven has turned into a glorified nightmare: every last inch of it is filled with the happiness, candylandish, huggabeist, rainbowest, teddy bears to grace the planet. Sam is not happy (which technically is appropriate Goth behavior) and takes her anger full force on the bears themselves. I wonder what conservative being ordered the Gem of Form to create this? Whoever said person is, he or she must be having a field day. Being the extra-nice beings that they are, the bears hand the gems back to Danny after he politely asks for it. He turns Gothapalooza back to normal, much to Sam’s relief. Wait, wha—so those teddy bears she ripped the heads off of earlier...t-they weren’t the Goths...were they? Oh, fuck, Sam’s a murderer! The Guys in White arrive, this time with tanks, and again the heroes move, hiding inside a delivery truck filled with newspaper. Danny and friends grace the front page, much to the former’s chagrin.

Jazz meanwhile therapies Freakshow by relating to his dilemma of Ghost Envy. Ahh, a kindred spirit. Somewhere out there, people are making fanfics between the two. Danny, Tucker, and Sam meanwhile arrive in Hollywood where they’re immediately bombarded with admirers and their cameras. Danny phases them down to a subway station that can lead them to San-Diego, following the trail of Danny and Sam cosplayers. But no Tucker. They’re already geeks in real life, why would they want to dress as one? That’s just redundant. At the con itself, three geeks got their hands on the Gem of Fantasy, but their cosplays turn real when they become their own costumes. The samurai especially looks very badass. Danny is pleased though, since they’re heroes like him, they can help. Yeaaaaaaah, about that. They’re super, but it’s the opposite.

The attendants are caught between fear and pure geekgasm. In this universe, Danny Phantom comics exist. Well, alright, technically they do here, but only in Nick Mag. But sadly there is short demands for Pirate comics. After disapproval a certain page (I’m gonna go ahead and assume it’s pure Foe Yay between Vlad and Danny, yum), Danny manages to lure the "Legion of SuperDweebs" out of the convention. He first ties Blue rock Man to a flagpole (that magically supports him somehow) before he aims for the other two. Of course, fate loves bad timings, the Guys in White arrive to dispense their own form of justice. Danny gets the Gem of Fantasy when the Guys in White are forced to combat the geeks, I’m sorry, Enthusiasts.

With three gems against Freakshow’s one, they stand a chance. Yeah, not really. Lydia gets her bats back, and then sends her tattoo beasts back out to warp the trio to Freakshow’s lair. She then entraps the three with her creatures of the [Goth] night while her boyfriend pushes the proper sequences. First off, why do they sound like computer tech noises? Secondly, how many times do you have to press to get the right sequences? All they did twenty minutes ago was activate it by pressing the gems in the right order ONCE. Here he’s pressing like ten buttons. And HOLY HELL ON A HAND BASKET SAM, SHUT UP! Danny can’t DO anything. It’s a frustrating plot device, but get used to it! Danny orders the family free now that he has the gems, but Freakshow reveals a technicality: he promises they would see them alive, so here they are...alive. For now. Ooh, sneaky.

The Ringmaster teleports the family, Sam, and Tucker to a literal death-defying roller coaster ride that ends with them falling into a pit of acid, if they can last that long. Proving he’s a fair sport (and once again, a dumbass); Freakshow frees Danny to save his parents. To add pressure, he creates an audience filled with clowns. June 9th, 2006. The day kids screamed in unison. Honestly, I’d rather it be the cast of people seen throughout the run of the episode, it would have made it personal. Danny steps on the tracks to stop the coaster, but Freakshow turns him into orange Jell-O or the Nickelodeon logo shaped like Danny. The roller coaster smacks into him, killing him into tiny orangey blobs. ...Wow...damn. Freakshow...holy fuck. Maybe he’s not as idiotic as I thought. I mean, DAMN. Jell-O or not, that still counts as an onscreen death. ...DAMN. Freakshow takes this time to turn the entire world into his own personal circus/amusement park. Frankly, that scarecrow was scarier before he was transformed. "A kingdom fit for a freak and a freakdom fit for a King!" Danny reforms himself and returns to normal state at this time. What?! Holy Shit, he’s Dr. Manhattan. America has a God and his name is Danny Phantom. But seriously, that was both cheap and unexplained. Relieved he’s alive; Jazz tells Danny that he has Ghost Envy, so he needs to outsmart him via brain power which he'll get to after he destroys the coaster's contraptions blocking their way. Nice angle shot and action between Danny and fire-spewing clown.

"Oh-No, you do not get to leave this world with a smile!" Freakshow warns, now having grown into a giant version of himself. Quick! Someone get me a really old slingshot! As Freakshow tries in vain to kill him, Danny breaks his spirit by displaying his many ghost powers, because he has it and Freakshow doen’t.

The clowns cheer, rendering Freakshow jealous and mad with rage. To counter, he turns himself into a ghost. Oh, this is just too easy. And it is. No catch, Danny sucks him inside the Fenton Thermos, the gauntlet falling off of him in the process. "Sucker." Indeed. He hastily secures the gauntlet and saves his loved ones by turning the pit of acid into a ducky pool. Lydia then arrives to get revenge for what he did to her precious Freakshow, but he Realities her by turning her into various whatevers. That’s enough for her to runaway scared. I know you have God-like powers, Danny, but shouldn’t you just have thermosed her? Danny then turns everything back to normal. Yep, that scarecrow is still scarier. It’s like DP’s very own Tails Doll. Can you feel the sunshiiiiiiiiiine?

Danny is confronted by his parents, but instead of anger, they shower him with hugs and kisses and praises. Though he feels guilty for holding this a secret, the two let him know in full that they love him for him, no matter what he is. But that doesn’t stop him erasing. THEIR. MEMORIES. WHAT THE HELL?! Erase the Manson folks, erase the Foleys—hell, erase the popular kids and the ENTIRE population to ensure his safety, but HIS APPROVING PARENTS!? Holy SHIT, I don’t think I’ve EVER wrote more CAPLOCKS then THIS episode. ARGH!

Danny dives to Guys in White HQ after, releasing Freakshow into their custody, turning him back to his humanoid state. Then he wipes their memories so they won’t go around messing with the Fentons. Pssh, that won’t stop them in the next episode. Satisfied regardless, Danny returns home to confirm the fix-em-ups. "Nobody knows I’m half ghost except you two and Jazz." And also Vlad. And also the many, many ghosts that inhabit the Ghost Zone. After Paulina and Dash teases the two, Danny remembers they’re all back in Status Quo Land, so it’s time for summer vacation! WHOOO! But Tucker and Sam would rather pass after days of craziness. Danny agrees, deciding his brief freedom is best settled in his humble home. But he said his whole family is going on vacation. How is he going to convince them otherwise? Maybe he can tag-team with Jazz against his folks. He finalizes the scene with one last task: destroy thy gauntlet. If that thing was so easily Ecto Rayable, he could have saved himself the hassle and just done it at the very beginning. Oh, whatever, this episode is done. Danny flies off, but not before getting a buttload of Ecto beams from his father. Book End!

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