TITLE: My Brother's Keeper...Vanity has it's cruel price...
LOGO: “Presented in PHANTOMATION”
EPISODE #: 9
SEASON: 1
AIRDATE: June 25, 2004
DIRECTOR: Butch Hartman, Wincat Alcala, Juli Hashiguchi
STORY: Steve Marmel
WRITERS: Sib Ventress
STORYBOARD: Ray Angrum, Chris Graham
ART DIRECTIONS: Bob Boyle
MUSIC: Guy Moon
APPEARANCE: Danny and Jazz, Sam and Tucker, Fenton Folks, Lancer, Dash, Kwan, Paulina, Valerie, and a whole bunch of other students
GHOST APPEARANCE: Penelope Spectra, Bertrand (1st Appearance)
FENTON GADGET APPEARANCE: Fenton Ghost Peeler (1st appearance)
LESSON: I will pay anything if I never have to see Lancer cheer-lead again.
SUMMARY: 
An excited Lancer leaps up in the air, pulling off cheerleading moves he remembered in his youth. Never mind his poor health, nothing keeps him down during the upcoming school spirit—its 100th year—complete with "spirit sparklers". Not that Jazz doesn’t care, but her #1 concern isn’t knowing her vice-principal once had hair during his youth, but about her little brother, Danny. "He’s been acting really strange lately, like he’s not himself anymore. I’d talk to him, but I’m his older sister and he’s just going to think I’m being bossy. And if he doesn’t get some help—if he doesn’t talk to somebody, all that frustrations he’s repressing could come out the wrong way."
While she pours her heart out, Danny pulls one of his usual "strange" behavior and follows a green blobby ghost inside Penelope Spectra’s office. Who’s Penelope Spectra? You’re about to find out. Or you can read about her here. Danny somehow manages to squeeze himself into a school locker that he also managed to open without decoding the combination. He then dives into the office and proceeds to deliver the smack down. Green Blob tries to go wrestlemania by hitting Danny with a chair, but he retaliates with a set of Ecto Rays. He not only misses, the ghost escapes and leaves him with a messy office. He turns human by the time Lancer lures Jazz into Spectra’s office. Instead of trying to think of an excuse, Danny frustratingly criticizes himself for his sucky battle. This is where most people would have him committed.
Penelope Spectra is a redheaded hottie teen therapist. Being perky, she takes her damaged office with a cheery attitude, and then turns on the AC, saying it keeps the mind "icy sharp". Keep this in mind, this is actually important. Danny isn’t pleased that Jazz tattletale'd his dilemma to his most distrusted teacher—calling her a "fink"— especially if it means being stuck in the same room as Morphine McSunshine.
Jazz: Danny, I’m just trying to help. Come on, we used to talk all the time.Danny: Yeah, When I was eight and you weren’t a fink!
This conversation speaks volume on the level of growth the two will receive with each other in later episodes. Lancer dismisses Danny and quickly praises Jazz’s intelligence to Spectra. He then provides exposition by stating she will be the speech giver of Casper High’s annual school spirit (the Centennial Spirit-O-Thon they call it). Spectra was specifically hired to counsel and put the pep in their system in preparations for the event. She then introduces her assistant Bertrand whom Jazz waves to. He snorts back. Jackass. Spectra continues explaining the plot by showing a picture of dominos that spells the school’s name; the last one will trigger the Spirit Sparklers. And if you needed further prove of her enthusiasm, she leaps onto her desk with sparklers of her own. Goddamn, they really love those motherfucking spirit sparklers. Guys, relax, it’s just a school event. But DAMN, she has a nice set of legs though. Thinking her optimistic nature would be good for Danny’s current downward funk, Jazz agrees with Lancer that his time with her will be for the best. Sorry, Danny, two against one. You lose. A winner is not you. Ten points taken from Gryffindor. All your base are not belong to you. F minus minus.
Danny is not pleased as he angrily waits his turn outside Spectra’s office, sitting on, of all things, the "Happy Chair". Oh, Lord have mercy. Spectra opens the door and walks out with a reluctant Paulina who’s concerned if her popularity is really that dependent on her beauty. Spectra gives her a suspiciously bad advice, telling her to lather herself silly with more make up, "You’re the only you you’ve got." It’s kind of disappointing this little development never occurred further. Paulina is a tertiary character, so it’s excusable, but to see her grow a bit like Lancer and prove she’s not just a walking one-dimensional being is a missed opportunity.
Now it’s Danny’s turn and things already start off hostile. Cranking the AC up further, Spectra begins by flat out lying to him. She claims Jazz has been calling her "baby" and "loser" behind his back. Danny is easily riled by this, proving he doesn’t know his sister as well as he thinks (another interesting development angle). He leaves the office after she gives him some advice, but he isn’t taking it well. Walking to a wall usually does that.
Alone with Bertrand, Spectra's head starts glowing green. She sucks up all the wrinkles and immediately we deduce who she is: a ghost who feeds on teen depression in order to keep her young. If you think that’s creepy, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Bertrand is displeased she keeps wasting time with that one kid. Um, wait, I thought this was their FIRST visit? That doesn’t constitute as "wasted time". Spectra declares Danny is like a "walking spa treatment" with all the misery crapping out of his head. Taking that in cue, Bertrand reverts to his true form, the green blob, and decides to up the ante. He then morphs himself into a giant green hornet and flies off to deal some serious shit.
Danny walks off to his next class (I assume) with Sam and Tucker as the two bear witness to his irritating behavior as he screams over what Jazz did. Sam points out name-calling isn’t something Jazz would do. Oh, Danny, you are so pathetic when your best friend knows your sister more than you do. Cue older sister who lets her opinion be known after Danny’s fiasco with Spectra.
Jazz: Danny, I know you’re angry, but I’m worried about you. Ever since the accident-Danny: *irritated* Jazz, I know you think you’re helping and I’m sure when I’m older I’ll appreciate it, but right now, I don’t.
Jazz: You have to talk to somebody, Danny, you barely have any friends—(Sam and Tucker glares)—besides these two and you have absolutely no extracurricular activities.
Danny: Well, maybe this is me now, huh? Not everybody’s pumped up full of spirit all the time, ya know! *ghost senses let loose, he shivers* Ghost sense? I don’t see anything.
Jazz: Danny, you’re shivering.
Danny: Leave me alone! *runs off*
Jazz: It’s worse than I thought!
So Jazz knows about the accident and I can safely assume the Fentons do, too. We regrettably never get to know their reaction, but Jazz we do. She’s concerned and feels said accident may have warped his mind further then what she usually believed it has, but how does Jack and Maddie feel? When we first meet them, they’re presumably in their normal behavior. Granted, it’s easy to deduce they were worried as hell over their son’s near death. "Memory Blank" stated only Sam and Tucker witnessed it, but that doesn’t mean Jack and Maddie didn’t hear any noises. If "MB" and the opening intro showed anything, Danny passed out and woke up with his powers or he came out of the portal as a half ghost, awake and aware, but ultimately unharmed. Either way, it may be enough that the Fentons were concerned he was in said accident, but thankfully relieved he wasn’t hurt. I’m also going to take for granted that Jack and Maddie views their son so highly (they can’t imagine him as a ghost whatsoever) that they didn’t experiment on him to ensure nothing happened to him, but I would assume they would have checked up on him to be sure. I doubt they’d be DNA testing him to see if he;s half ghost as much as making sure there weren’t any high risks involved from so many Ecto (ya know, like Ecto-Acne). But I’m digressing.
Danny’s ghost senses triggers and he runs off, worrying his sister further. Unfortunately she has other problems when Hornet Bertrand eyes her. She appropriately screams (and shit, we get a LOT of mouth) as he hones in on her and starts…licking her face. I’m not joking, he takes out his long prehensile tongue and starts licking her face in such a sexual manner I wonder if Nickelodeon were all doped up to give a fuck when this was approved. We’re thankfully relieved from a possible bug-on-girl action (though I’m certain somebody out there as fanficed/fanarted these two—don’t link me any, I value whatever sanity I have) when Danny Phantom comes to the rescue. He kicks him out of the school via intangibility. Jazz is far from relieved, shocked that she saw not one, but two ghosts. What the shit are you shocked for? You just saw Box Ghost in the LAST episode!
Bertrand: My? You are clever, aren’t you?
Not that I don’t enjoy some banters, but come on, somebody had to call Danny out once on his corny one-liners. I also love how this one kid doesn’t even run off when he sees two ghosts in battle. He just stands there like a lump and Danny is too self-absorbed with his own problems to tell him to beat it. Indeed, Bertrand scratches Danny’s arm with his stinger and the poor kid frustratingly cries for not going intangible. He managed to save himself via a Ghost shield and gathers his wits to pull out his Fenton Thermos, but Bertrand disappears. "Gone, another bad guy gets away. Maybe Jazz is right, maybe I am a loser." Jazz watches as Danny flies away in dejection. Not knowing him and her brother are the same, she is...actually happy to see a ghost and gleefully excited to tell her brother. Never mind the blow to the ego she would likely feel knowing her parents were right, never mind that she doesn’t notice Danny has the Fenton Thermos which would be a dead giveaway that he’s her brother, by nighttime, she is all over him.
She walks in on him at the kitchen and is shocked when Danny claims it looked like a big bug to him. Well, that is fairly accurate, though if I saw a giant insect, I’d either assume I time traveled to the era of dinosaurs or yeah, think something seriously weird was going on. She continues to bug him (once again, I deliver another bad pun), but he discards her. Left with little choice—very little choice—Jazz calls for her parents. They ask if something is bothering Danny (more Maddie then Jack), so the clever boy grins and tells them Jazz saw a ghost. Immediately the two hound her before showing off their latest Fenton gear: The Fenton Ghost Peeler, designed to peel ghosts layer by later. As seen later, this is actually horrific to look at.
The next day, Jazz goes to phase two and interrogates her friends. She almost bribes Tucker, but Sam refuses the money for him and says they will not betray him. Awww, noble. Also, it helps that she already has enough money to feed a small world country. Danny is nearby, taking a drink from a water fountain when Bertrand commences his phase two by latching his backpack to the fire alarm. As he leaves, he accidentally pulls the trigger and the water sprinklers turn on. Not only is he given one month’s detention, he gets yet another session with Spectra.
Oh, insults of all insults, Spectra dresses Danny in a Baby New Year-ish outfit as a test to counter his fear of being called a baby. I’m just amused at his bowling pin socks. Danny clarifies he is afraid of the word "loser", not "baby", but Spectra jumps in and says he "cares too much about what people think". Actually, this is pretty good observation—the earlier episodes had Danny insecurely trying to find a place for himself, so what people say about him affects his judgment and causes him to second guess who he is. Further punch-in-the-gut occurs when Dash and a couple of other football players mock his outfit. Spectra place a reassuring hand on him, but only so she can suck more of his emotions.
The next scene is a very, very good foreshadowing/character moment between Valerie and Kwan. Despite the latter rejecting her when Donna agreed to go with him to the dance last time they interacted, she still talks to him. I kind of imagine the two are dating (or very close friends), but in that shallow teenage way: they flirt or date other people, but ends up with each other for the sake of popularity or the delusion that they have something special between each other. The other moment is what Valerie says, "Miss Spectra says I worry way too much about material possession." This is going to bite her in the ass in the next episode when she is forced to relinquish them and undergo her significant character development.
Cutting to Danny and friends, he mulls over Spectra’s words. Despite what she intended (in his eyes), he does the opposite and sinks lower. Tucker, who has pictures of him in his Baby New Year outfit, does nothing to lift his spirit. Jazz counters him for the third time, but he still refuses her company. Even more so when his ghost sense goes off again as Bertrand hovers over Paulina (furiously dabbing on make up to be as perfect as possible). He pushes Jazz to his friends, "Take my seat, you’ve already taken my friends!" then runs off to transform. This time, Jazz gets active and smartly runs after him. Tucker and Sam follows, but doesn’t catch up in time when she witnesses her younger brother turning ghost. She is surprised big time and quickly speaks to the nearest people: Sam and Tucker. As expected, they think she’s bananas; ghosts don’t exist, and Danny isn’t a ghost. You crazy, silly woman! This doesn’t convince her regardless, but she makes an excuse ("My parents are such loons it’s rubbing off") and bolts.
Danny meanwhile confronts and fights Bertrand again. The ghost pokes at Danny’s poor skills and turns into a puma. Tucker and Sam tries to help by threatening him, but two weaponless human beings vs. a giant cat ghost can really only go one way. Danny tackles him, but Bertrand gets the upper hand by calling him a "loser". Ahhh, ever this episode's magic word. This works like a charm and Danny is heavily affected. He rages against him, but like Spectra’s office, he ends up damaging the entire pharmacy instead of, ya know, getting the damn ghost. Bertrand leaves in satisfaction on another job well done. "Great, he got away again. Another ringing endorsement for the town screw-up." Danny flies away as Jazz watches from afar. Now the pieces are coming together.
Jazz finds her brother eating dinner alone later that night. Well, no, he’s silently fiddling with his fork. I like this scene; it’s subtle and powerfully effective. I really wished the show had more moments like this. Jazz walks over, examines him, and then pinches him, forcing Danny to wonder what the bloody hell she sniffed before she got home. Then we get this heartwarming speech, "I know I’ve been kind of hard on you lately, but you know I think you’re great, right? (Yeah right, that’s not what I hear.) Then you’ve heard wrong. Look, I know you think I’m pushy and I’m a know-it-all. I know you think I can be a jerk sometimes...you know you can stop me at anytime. (I know) *sigh* All I’m saying is, I’m your sister and I care about you and even know you don’t think I’ll understand, you can talk to me about anything." This almost works, but noooo, Jack just had to trash the couch with his Fenton Peelers. This somehow is enough to change Danny’s mind and he walks away from her, but not before she kisses him (on the head, you sickos). Danny gives off an absolutely adorable smile, and then ruins it by saying how gross it is. Normally, this comedic scene would ruin an otherwise emotional moment (which this show does in annoying abundance), but this is largely in-character. Danny is slowly starting to see a new light in Jazz, but he is still too immature to accept her help and love.
School the next day would be Sam’s dream come true if she didn’t think like an individual—all the students besides them are devoid of life, completely and utterly depressed. That’s because they’re the only two who hasn’t been to Spectra’s office. Danny is within the misery pile, but quickly perks up when he asks for Tucker’s PDA, glad his pictures of Baby New Year weren’t thrown out. He suspects his ghost breath has been blocked out because of the cranked AC, letting him think his ghost sense is merely cold puffs from a chilly room. Never mind that the pictures are of him OUTSIDE Spectra’s office. Danny’s lucky he only got one Christmas episode because that issue never pops up in there. He correctly guesses Spectra is a ghost and to prove the theory, Tucker and Sam boldly dive in for a session with Spectra. Both leave in equal depression ("I hate my life." "I hate your life more."), giving time for Danny to fly in and witness Spectra sucking in their emotions. Bertrand enters and says the spirit sparklers are all set up and we get yet another exposition as they reveal their plans to kill Jazz via sparklers in order to suck up the entire school’s depression to last them a lifetime. Holy Shit, that’s...that’s fucked up. Also, Bertrand is so gay. I mean, come on, just look at his happy reactions as they reveal their plans to each other.
The spirit celebration isn’t going so hot; the cheerleaders pathetically do not live up to their name sake. Lancer has to step in and liven up the situation by cheering on his own. Not bad for an out of shape teacher—maybe determination gets him through. No one is impressed lest of all, Jazz. Spectra and Bertrand make their way to the school gym, but is countered by Danny Phantom. What we get is a nice interaction from each other.
Danny: I figured it out, finally. You feed on misery, don’t you?Spectra: I’m sorry, can I help you?
Danny: No, I’m sure you can’t (ooh, really love the emotions when he delivered this line), you can’t help anyone except yourself. You find the one thing that a kid’s most afraid of: their future, their looks, their confidences, and you pick at it and pick at it while you’re snippy little ghost assistant feeds on it.
Spectra: Very good, but I fear you missed a few details.
Few nothing, Danny actually witnessed Spectra sucking in teen emotions and before Bertrand enters the scene. Why would he assume otherwise? Spectra reveals her true form as a pure black ghost in complete dramatic fashion. Puma Bertrand strikes Danny while Jazz gives her speech. Lancer starts the dominoes after, but Danny can’t reach her in time as Bertrand repeats his offense and insults him again. He remembers to use his intangibility this time and avoids the attack. Spectra grabs Danny and expositions her plan again. Guys, this is a case where you should show, NOT tell. Danny’s sick of this shit, too, "Man, I am SO tired of you dumping on me and I am SO tired of dumping on myself; Jazz never did that, even when I was mad at her and I won‘t let her down!" He releases himself and is forced into battle with Ninja Bertrand. He pulls off some fancy moves, but Danny goes Indiana Jones and just shoots thermoes the jerkass. Danny then evades Spectra’s tackle and throws her in a dumpster.
With previous time to spare, Danny invisibly flies towards Jazz as the last domino falls, saving her life before the sparklers BBQ her. He hides her in the storage and the two quickly eye each other. Before anyone could react, Spectra slams Danny to a wall and slowly destroys his mind via a Hannibal Lecture speech (of which the quote is located at the top of this page). She’s also genre savvy enough to smack the Fenton Thermos away from him (but animation error has it strapped to his back in later scenes). Glad at least one baddie did that. Jazz calmly interrupts and decides he deserves a second opinion and she sics the Fenton Ghost Peeler at her. What follows is a rather nightmarish scene as Spectra is peeled like an onion, causing her to rapidly age in the process. It’s disgusting and disturbs me in so many levels. But hey, it proves how effective that scene really is. Danny sucks her up and is once again confronted by Jazz. Running out of ideas, he hesitates to say something, but thankfully, she’s got him covered. She puts up a very poor act and runs off scared from the ghost. This makes no sense given she countered Spectra with no clause. Thank goodness her brother isn’t too bright. Confident in Danny’s ability (and impressed, might I add), she declares "he can tell me when he’s ready."
Lancer manages to find Jazz afterwards. The two return to the gymnasium to find everyone’s spirit has returned, citing her "disappearing act" as the fortunate cause. Among the crowd is a weary, but delighted Danny who waves to his sister (she waves back).
Lancer: Everybody’s mood is lifted, as though some gloomy malevolence has been shooed away. Your disappearing act worked marvelously, they got their spirits back.
Jazz: They’re not the only ones, Mr. Lancer; they’re not the only ones.
Jazz concludes and the final scene wraps up with her watching her brother flying in the night sky.
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Article written revised in: Jul. 3, 2010
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